|... as opposed to slowsand, or even kind-of-fast sand.|
|Our hero is Mickey Rooney, as a short-but-honest auto|
mechanic. It's the perfect job for him -- he doesn't need
a grease rack to get under the car!
|One day Mickey is at the diner with future Mouseketeer Jimmie Dodd|
when something catches his attention --
|It is his dream girl -- a woman who looks just like|
James Cagney in drag!
|Upstaged by the innuendo on a lousy box of candy,|
Mickey nevertheless asks female James Cagney out on a date...
|...where he learns that she has very expensive tastes.|
|This causes Mickey to leave his old|
girlfriend, Liv Tyler, behind ...
|... and embark on a life of petty theft.|
|Mickey's crime spree involves buying a watch on time|
(Ha ha! See what I did there?) and then hocking it.
|And he also holds up a guy just because he|
doesn't like straw hats.
|This gets him mixed up with female James Cagney's old|
boss, Ugarte from "Casablanca," who has returned from
the dead to run a penny arcade on the Santa Monica pier.
|He and Mickey become fast friends ...|
|... but Mickey draws the line at playing peek-a-boo, so|
Ugarte blackmails him over the straw hat guy robbery.
|Now Mickey is really in a spot. He has to steal a|
car for Ugarte AND buy him a straw hat. His nerves are on edge.
|This leads to a tense meeting with the boss.|
|Happily, Mickey is shot by the cops and|
reunites with Liv Tyler.
|Then he realizes his father-in-law will be Steven Tyler,|
and he starts thinking about female James Cagney again.