Sunday, April 20, 2014

My Great Villain Blogathon Entry: Otto Kruger in "Saboteur," or There Are None So Blind as Those Who Will Nazi

This is my entry in the Great Villain Blogathon sponsored by Shadows and Satin, Speakeasy and Silver Screenings. Please visit the link above and read the other entries as well, k?

A very pleasant and sincere greeting to all of you. My name
is Charles Tobin, and as you can clearly see I am a kind,
considerate, fully respectable 100% American with a nice
wardrobe. I am president of one of the fascist -- I mean
fastest -- growing companies in the country. 

Unfortunately, some troublemakers -- such as my friend Barry
Kane here -- have branded me as a villain, accusing me of
running a sabotage ring, of all things! With your permission,
I will outline my case -- that it is Barry Kane, not I, who is
the REAL villain -- and I believe you will agree.

I first met Mr. Kane when he muscled his way into my
palatial, well-kept desert estate on National Striped Bathrobe Day. 

Before he came in, if you can believe it, he relieved
himself on my front stoop!


Then, upon entry, he shamelessly ingratiated himself
with my granddaughter as I was fetching refreshments.


My housekeeper reacted as any good frau -- I mean
woman -- would. By drawing a pistol. 

Mr. Kane reacted in the most cowardly way possible --
by using my granddaughter as cover! So he escaped,
without so much as a thank you for the refreshments. 

By now, the word was out about Mr. Kane
being a fugitive --

-- and he enticed a Miss Martin into pretending to be
his "hostage."

Together they went on a spree of property destruction ...

... ending at the Brooklyn Navy Yard, where Mr. Kane
attacked Frank, one of my henchmen -- I mean employees --
who was minding his own business, peacefully
listening to Radio Berlin. 

Then Miss Martin cruelly tricked Frank
while they were sightseeing at the Statue of Liberty.

This led to Frank being ambushed by Mr. Kane and
Miss Martin, and things very quickly got, you should
excuse the expression, out of hand.

Do I blame Mr. Kane for Frank's death? Well, let's put it
this way -- HE SOLD FRANK THAT SUIT.

Well, there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Judge the
evidence for yourselves, and please take into account
my friendly manner and luxurious lifestyle. I believe that
the truth will triumph uber alles -- I mean, over all.
Auf wiedersehen!




12 comments:

  1. Made me chuckle. Very nice!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I could hear Otto Kruger's voice reading your pithy take on the movie. Well, I could hear him reading all of the lines except for your very punny title. Ha! This is a treat!

    ReplyDelete
  3. This post was a scream, David. The only thing I've known up to now about Saboteur was that Hitchcock directed and Norman Lloyd's fall from the Statue of Liberty. Now I actually want to see it! Good stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well done! This is a great way to illustrate how evil he is, without seeming so ruthless. Just like a true Hitchcock villain.

    ReplyDelete
  5. haha, as a fan of a well done gif I loved this, great captioning. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Great post David! Although I'm sure I wasn't meant to laugh as much as I did, he is a villain after all ;)

    ReplyDelete
  7. BRILLIANT! I love that you turned it around and made Barry Kane the bad guy. Fabulous!

    Thanks for participating in our blogathon with this very clever entry. :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I love the idea of National Striped Bathrobe Day. What a great tradition that would be. A very funny review.

    ReplyDelete
  9. How funny.well done! Smooth villains can be the best

    ReplyDelete
  10. Great stuff! I saw this not long ago and enjoyed it, though it's faded in my mind a bit - but your gifs have brought it all back.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Your review was so creative and funny! I enjoyed it very much. Now I need to see the movie. I'm sure I will then appreciate your review even more!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Shiksa Priscilla Lane gave credit to the French for the "Give me your tired ..." Who was Emma Lazarus? Chopped liver?

    ReplyDelete