Sunday, July 13, 2014

My Accidentally Hilarious Blogathon Entry: "Attack of the 50 Foot Woman," or A Big Hand for the Little Lady

This is part of the Accidentally Hilarious Blogathon sponsored by your friends and mine at Movies, Silently, so visit them for other entries, eh what?

Great expense was spared in assembling these titles.

"We interrupt 'Sex Sent Me to the ER' for this special report.
A big ball has been spotted in the California desert, just
glowing like anything. All mentally unstable heiresses who
drive big convertibles and have unfaithful husbands are
urged to be on the alert." 


Hmm. Could this be --


-- uh oh. Too late. Nancy the unstable heiress, meet
big ball glowing like anything.


Nancy the unstable heiress (we will just call her Nancy
henceforth) runs in her cocktail dress back to the
thriving desert town of Bleached Skull and alerts the sheriff.

Meanwhile, in the town bar, unfaithful husband Harry is
being very unfaithful with his floozy, Honey. (Or
should that be with his honey, Floozy?) 

Still, Nancy cannot resist Harry's irresistible good looks
and dashing manner, even though to the rest of the
world he is basically a smirk and a necktie.


Nancy tells Harry about her sighting and they set out
to find the glowing ball. 

Suddenly the alien pilot, Mr. Clean, appears out of
nowhere because the producers couldn't afford
a spaceship door. He extends the big fake hand of
friendship toward Nancy -- 

-- and Harry suddenly remembers he left something at
home. His suitcase.


Mr. Clean thoughtfully takes Nancy back home, but she
has experienced special alien radiation, and so, like him,
she gets big fake hands.

Meanwhile, the sheriff finds Mr. Clean, who uses his
alien powers to turn a 1958 Plymouth into a '53 Chevy.

Nancy is very tall now. She starts dating Manute Bol
and gets a job with the power company. 

But revenge is on her mind! So she heads for the
bar at Bleached Skull.

There she finds Harry, and with just a touch of her
big fake hand --

-- she turns him into a badly stuffed Ken doll.


Alas, the end is nigh for Nancy and Ken -- er, Harry. It has
something to do with live wires, but don't ask me what.

The great men of science who have been following Nancy's
unusual case try desperately to control their emotions. The
town of Bleached Skull will never be the same -- at least not
until they rebuild that bar.   




5 comments:

  1. Let that be a lesson to everyone: Never fall for a smirk and a necktie. Great GIFs! Thanks so much for joining in the fun!

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  2. One of my favorite bad movies...and the little poster magnet currently attached to my fridge proves it. The film that introduced me to Yvette Vickers...yum! Love the goofy captions, Dave!

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  3. The film that begat the bevy of big girls...30-foot brides, 50-foot cheerleaders, 60-foot centerfolds. (And let's not forget Nancy's mutation into a '90s blonde who looked like Daryl Hannah, or buxom Joy Harmon in the '60s dancing with a guy one-sixth her size.)

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  4. Ah, my favorite piece of cheese! Great post - but can you tell me where she shops?

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  5. This was SO well done! Loved your description of Harry "basically a smirk and a necktie." (I know a few people who fit that description.)

    I've never seen all of this film, but you can believe I'm going to drop EVERYTHING the next time I have the chance to watch it.

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