|Greetings, fellow married people and others. My name is|
Detective Sam Wagner. My first name isn't "Detective," ha ha!
Anywho, I'm here to give you some excellent tips on how
to be hitched -- and happy!
First, get yourself a smoking hot wife.
This is mine, so slow your roll.
|My wife's name is Lila and she's a tiger in the kitchen and|
a worker bee in the bedroom. Or maybe it's the other
way around -- I never can remember.
|Oh, little problems come up now and again. Like the|
time I accidentally killed Warby Parker's wife
and he swore revenge on me by targeting Lila.
|Warby Parker was in prison, but he was paroled for|
good behavior and so he headed our way.
|Lila was in real danger, so I did what any considerate|
husband would do. I hypnotized her. Ha ha! Just kidding.
I didn't tell her anything at all.
|She just thought she was being shadowed by Buddy Holly.|
|Lila didn't understand how great I was being by keeping her|
completely in the dark about being stalked by an armed
psychotic. She got mad at me and walked out.
|Buddy -- I mean Warby -- saw his chance and moved in on|
Lila, who was wearing an outfit designed to blend in.
|Warby disguised himself as a stadium blanket.|
|Of course, we stopped him in a peaceful manner and|
Lila is safe.
Her trust level, on the other hand, is something she
needs to work on.